Tweets #5, Shotgun!, Liberal Arts, Over thinking, Laity, Ascetic, Perambulate, Excelsior, Declension, Heuristic

September 11th, 2008 · Comments

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“I’m so sick of sucking the dick of this city.” Of Montreal, you never cease to amaze.
Is it racist that I think the Korean Church smells delicious?
Upon hearing of a possible cheese scare, I said, “But cheese is my bread and butter!”
Upon closer inspection, The Bible is some great Sci-Fi/Fantasy literature. Nothing compared to LOTR though…
Feel the need to clarify: I have never and will never read Lord of the Rings.
Saw a man in a leg brace with a parrot on his shoulder eating ice cream yesterday afternoon. Of course he gave Polly a lick.
Fact: John McCain was the first old person, ever.
Seinfeld impersonation #516 - What’s the deal with the male urinal mandate? Looking forward? But all the action’s goin’ on down there!
The pie chart of my travel time is largely devoted to the “Standing at fire-doors wondering if they’ll sound an alarm upon opening” wedge.
The picture-book family is the last salvation of the nightcap (http://tinyurl.com/59ok4w)

Upon hearing that a friend’s female interest resembled Penelope Cruz

Tell her you wanna be her Javier Bardem

and then shoot her in the head with compressed gas

Liberal Arts Quote of the day:

#1 “Beam me up, Aphrodite!” -My philosophy teacher

Runner-up “You can’t understand The Neurotic Jewish Man.” -My sacred writings teacher

Sometimes I overthink things. It likely relates to the confluence of laziness, boredom, and a wandering mind. Fine, I just wanted to say “confluence.”

Ex) Am I My Brother’s Keeper: A quirky British man has to play his late-brother like a puppet in order to continue cashing his checks from the football club for which he plays. Obviously, his position is Keeper.